


hello kitty you're so pretty

by shyv2rxrxr (hexburn)



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Animal Shifters AU, Cute, Ferrets, Fluff, Kittens, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rare Pairings, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 11:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20425454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexburn/pseuds/shyv2rxrxr
Summary: Marcin is totally comfortable with being a ferret shifter. He'll change formes whenever, wherever, for a laugh or for no reason at all - that's just who he is. He doesn't mind at all. In his mind, shifting is the best thing ever - why wouldn't someone take advantage of all the fun havoc they can wreak?Martin thinks of it a bit differently.





	hello kitty you're so pretty

**Author's Note:**

> A super rare pair, but one that I absolutely love!

When something bumps into his foot with a loud squeak, Martin doesn’t freak out. When it climbs up his leg, he doesn’t react, either. It runs clumsily into his stomach and squeaks again, but still he doesn’t tear his eyes from his soloQ game.

Only when there’s a sudden absence of tiny paws in his lap combined with a very loud squawk and a thump on the floor next to him does Martin look down.

“Baby, how did you get your head stuck in a sock?” 

The ferret squeaks annoyedly and honks as it fumbles around, blind, thanks to its predicament, so Martin quickly recalls, scoops the slinky weasel into his lap and removes the offending piece of clothing.

“There you go, stupid rat,” Martin cooes. But it dives back into the sock. Martin fishes it out again and helps it to retrieve a small rubber duck, presumably what had lured it into the sock in the first place, and he kisses the ferret’s little nose as it squishes the duckie cutely. He ignores the question pings he’s getting from his teammates for lingering in base and sets it down in his lap.

Then, it’s Martin’s turn to squeak as his shifter boyfriend pops back into human forme. With a quick kiss to his cheek, Marcin chirps, “thank you!” and almost immediately becomes a furry snake again, tossing the squeaky toy to the side in favour of standing up on Martin’s lap to watch him play for a bit before climbing his shirt with prickly little claws and perching happily along Martin’s shoulders.

Martin doesn’t understand how he does it.

Maybe it’s just practised ease, or a career spent forced to love himself because very few others did, or a party trick that Marcin has developed well, but Martin doesn’t know how he can be so comfortable, switching from forme to forme in the blink of an eye. Maybe Martin’s just weird.

When it comes to formes, Martin keeps his secret. It’s not a hard secret to keep, considering the fact that he hasn’t morphed into his animal forme in a while. He’s fairly certain that most fans just think he’s a non-shifter. It’s not uncommon in modern times… though the only other confirmed non-shifter he knows in LEC is PromisQ, and Martin really doesn’t know him that well at all. Non-shifters are rare, but not so rare that Martin seems to be hiding anything. Still, he does sometimes think about revealing himself. 

He wonders about the way Mads would react if Martin leaped atop his powerful back for a ride on his lion-forme, or what it would be like to join in when Bwipo and Hyli roll around as two very different but ultimately happy wolves, or how nice it would be to curl up next to Tim as he sunbathes, usually right on top of someone’s keyboard.

And then Martin remembers what his animal forme is, and how embarrassing it is, and how ashamed he is of it, and pushes down all those thoughts.

He finishes his soloQ game, not allowing himself any more distractions.

\---

You know what would be a great idea?

Pranking his boyfriend.

Maybe it’s because of the ferret side of him that Marcin thinks it’s hilarious to play rough, to joke around and be a tiny bit wild, but he’s pretty certain that it’s also just who he is. He’s a living symbol of impulsive decisions and a dash or two of pure chaos. Have you  _ seen _ his Twitter?

Of course pranking Martin is a great way to bond! Plus, Martin’s giggles and his smiles after he’s been startled are sooo cute, the trouble to set up a prank is totally worth it.

But the first prank definitely doesn’t go according to plan. Marcin is able to fit under their bed easily, in human forme as well as ferret forme, so the idea is to stay as a tiny ferret until Martin comes to bed, then transform back and startle him by appearing out of nowhere, but it all goes wrong when a spare bar from the bedframe falls on top of Marcin and threatens to quash his little ferret organs. He’s forced to switch back early to try and move the bar. When Martin comes into their bedroom - wearing one of his shirts, which look remarkably good on his non-shifter boyfriend, by the way, marking him as Marcin’s by scent - Marcin is still semi-trapped under the bed. 

He looks up awkwardly. “Hi?” he tries, and is rewarded with a bright smile and laugh from Martin. Though much giggling and teasing is involved, Martin helps him out, pulling him up to standing so they can kiss quickly before Martin pushes him onto the bed, and they roll around playfully before snuggling up to fall asleep.

Time for plan B.

This time, Marcin tries a different tactic - popping up in weird, random places that a ferret has no business being.

From Martin’s dresser drawers to the pocket of his hoodies or snoozing in unnatural positions, hanging his body in the hole in Martin’s gaming chair, poking his nose out from inside Martin’s shoes, and taking a bath in the sink, Marcin tries it all.

He calls this plan a failure after a blood-chilling experience with one hiding spot… Literally. 

Marcin decides, after surprisingly little thought, that hiding in the refrigerator would be a great idea! Unfortunately, his plan to quickly sneak in and only be in there for a few minutes goes awry when Martin doesn’t get his before-dinner snack the way he usually does, and Marcin ends up stuck in the chiller for nearly an hour. He’s lucky the soup Martin put in the fridge earlier is still vaguely warm to his cold, cold body. When Martin opens the refridgerator at last, presumably to grab some food to lure Marcin out of whatever hiding spot he’s found now, he finds Marcin shivering, sleepy, eyes half-closed, his body wrapped around the soup container. “Marcin!” cries Martin in distress, scooping him up into wonderfully warm arms and quickly heating up a water bottle to warm him even more. “You stupid rat,” he says, clinging to Marcin with tears in his eyes, when disaster has been averted and they’re laying in bed together, Marcin still shivering slightly, “I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital. Don’t scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Marcin says, “I won’t do it again, I promise.” 

He holds Martin’s warmth tightly to his chest for the rest of the night.

Well, third time’s a charm, right?

Surely this plan will work. It’s the oldest trick in the book, aided by Marcin’s ability to slink around almost silently, and virtually guaranteed to get a jump out of Martin. 

Hopefully the good, funny kind this time, not the kind of jump when someone thinks their furry snek of a boyfriend is about to die of hypothermia.

So Marcin pads up behind Martin while he’s washing dishes, completely undetected, and, with a little smirk on his ferret face, shifts without being noticed at all. He stands there ominously with a soft smile on his face for some time, watching as Martin washes and dries dishes efficiently, since it’s his week to do the cleanup while Marcin cooks. Normally they would hang around each other while doing the work, but Martin doesn’t seem to mind being left alone at times. Marcin watches with a sense of warmth in his heart. The domesticness of his boyfriend swinging his hips lightly to whatever song is in his head sends a softness radiating through him, even more so when he recognises the song Martin hums as one Marcin had introduced him to.

Finally the moment comes when Martin turns around. “Hey, Selferret,” he says loudly, letting the noise reach all corners of the apartment, “can you bring me any dishes from the bedr- EEP!”

Martin practically shrieks when he sees Marcin standing so near to him without warning. He lets go of the mug in his hand and, while it falls, Marcin is too distracted with laughing to catch it before it hits the ground and splinters. “Oh, shit,” he chuckles when he hears it crack into pieces. “Don’t move, I’ll grab the dustpan.”

Wait, where’s Martin?

Surprised, Marcin looks around, confused as to where Martin could have gone. Is this some sort of counter-prank? “Good one,  _ kotek,” _ Marcin comments confusedly. Then he notices tiny, bloody pawprints in a trail following a nearly-grown kitten as it flees the scene, tripping over its own feet as it scrambles for their bedroom.

_ Oh, shit. _

Thinking on his feet, Marcin quickly grabs a handful of his ferret treats, bundling them up in a tissue for easier handling while in his animal forme, and a dangling toy with a stick long enough for him to manipulate as a ferret. Quickly, but not erratically or scarily, Marcin enters the bedroom. The pawprints lead to under the bed. Marcin sets his supplies down to the side and lays flat on his stomach, picking up a treat and breaking off a tiny piece, then putting it under the bed and nudging it to the kitten.

“Hello kitty,” Marcin croons, “you’re so pretty! You’re Martin, aren’t you?” The kitten, a light orange tabby with beautiful green eyes, cowers in the farthest corner. “It’s okay, honey, I won’t force you to come over here. Here, do you want to try one of my treats?” Marcin uses the end of the stick on the toy to push the tasty morsel closer to Martin, cooing gently as he does so. It would seem that Martin’s forme, the one so few people know about, is a tiny, two-month-old, vulnerable, adorable kitten, and Marcin is careful to not startle him, especially since one of his little paws is bleeding. Unfortunately, Marcin seems to be too big and scary for Martin right now.

The little kitten shirks back from the food, pressing itself further into the corner, and Marcin nibbles his lip worriedly before transforming into a ferret and sliding forward, nosing the treat towards Martin.  _ There you go! _ he snuffles, leaving it in Martin’s vicinity and backing up. Marcin is happy when Martin inches a few steps forward to nibble at the treat.  _ It’s good, isn’t it? Those are my favourite that you make for me. Though I do love them all,  _ he adds with a giggly squeak, pushing another bit towards Martin, who kneads at the floor and mews nonsensically at the compliment. Marcin continues to cluck and chirp calmingly, taking small victory after small victory and getting close to Martin at last. Soon he’s near enough to share a treat with Martin. 

Martin is shivering a bit, and still bleeding, too, to Marcin’s dismay. With uncharacteristic caution, Marcin cautiously sidles up to Martin and squeaks submissively to say he’s not a threat. Then, Marcin gently takes Martin’s injured paw into his own, and begins the difficult process of trying to remove shards of ceramic. He carefully grips the relatively big shards with his teeth and pulls them out slowly, wincing when Martin begins to cry, but they’re out, and Martin licks him as thanks. If he could purr, Marcin totally would.

But he can’t, so he settles for nuzzling Martin’s scruff.  _ Follow me! _ Marcin chirps, leading Martin to the cloth ladder he uses to climb up onto their bed and scaling it easily. Martin, on the other paw, only gingerly taps the wobbly ladder and backs away, mewling. After a few failed attempts of trying to nudge Martin onto the ladder -  _ it’s stable, I promise! _ but only answered with a frightened meow - Marcin scuttles away and lays flat on his stomach, then resumes his human forme, smiling softly at Martin, whose green eyes are wide but who also mews excitedly and runs over to him, only slipping once, licking his face and shakily purring.

“Hey, cutie,” Marcin cooes, “I missed you too.” He picks Martin up into his hands gently, still staying flat on the ground, and kisses his nose as Martin meows quietly and reaches out his paws. Marcin lets Martin’s tiny paw touch his nose and Martin mews happily. Gently, Marcin slowly sits up, cradling Martin to his chest, and respositions himself laying on the bed with Martin atop him, and he pets Martin lightly with plenty of kisses and little scratches behind his ears. “You got scared? I’m sorry I scared you,” Marcin says softly. He murmurs sweet nothings into Martin’s ears, soft kisses and hums and random tidbits about his day, until Martin’s feline eyes shut and Marcin’s kitten begins to snore. Then Marcin too falls asleep.

\---

When Marcin wakes up, Martin is still on his chest, though now he’s thankfully human and Marcin can apply a band-aid to the punctures in his palm, letting him sleep curled up atop Marcin for a while longer. After a bit more cat-napping, Martin’s eyes creak open as he hums tiredly and hugs Marcin tighter.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Marcin says with a kiss to the top of Martin’s head.

“ ‘Morning,” Martin groans back.

The silence that follows is comfortable and soothing, both of them cuddling closer to each other, Martin pawing at his eyes while Marcin kisses him more, but sadly it must be broken. They get up to make breakfast together, Martin wrapping his arms around Marcin’s waist after they sweep up the shards of ceramic, left over from the night before, singing softly to each other and humming to songs they don’t know the words of.

“I didn’t know you could shift,” Marcin mentions while the toast pops up.

Martin blushes red and hides his face in Marcin’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I haven’t- I haven’t shifted in years. I don’t even know how to do it anymore, it just- happens. I’m sorry I never told you.”

Marcin’s wide eyes look at Martin, confused as to why he’s apologising, before Marcin kisses Martin’s cheek tenderly. “Don’t be sorry, love, I was just surprised. You’re not nauseous or anything, are you? I’ve heard that infrequent shifters can feel sick after shifting for the first time in a while.”

“No, I’m fine.” Martin’s voice is muffled by Marcin’s shirt. “Just- it’s embarrassing, isn’t it? That I shifted because I got scared. That I shifted into a tiny, little, helpless thing. It’s embarrassing. You probably think it’s funny that I’m just a useless kitten,” Martin rambles. Before he gets the chance to say more dumb things, Marcin kisses him.

“It’s not embarrassing at all,” Marcin soothes, “a lot of people shift when they get scared. And it’s okay to be small, you know. All shifters are amazing, even the ones that turn into tiny sparrows or utterly adorable kittens.” He kisses Martin again. “You’re only as helpless as me.”

“But I’m not even fully-grown!” Martin protests. “Even Tim is a full-grown cat and I’m just a stupid kitten, even though I’m older. I can’t even walk straight,” he says, reminding Marcin of how cutely he’d slipped and slid around as he’d ran to their room.

“Come on,” Marcin teases, “how many times have you seen me slip around on the floor? Tiles are hard to walk on! And you  _ know _ I’ve fallen off the countertop more times than we can count.” Marcin sets the pan down to hold Martin’s hand. “It’s okay to be clumsy, especially since you haven’t shifted in a long time. It takes a while to learn to be comfortable in a different forme. Don’t apologise for it, honey!”

Martin sniffles and squeezes Marcin tight, but with another kiss his fears are silenced, and they continue making breakfast happily.

Over their meal, Marcin asks the question that’s been on his mind all too much, and eagerly awaits a response.

“So, Martin…”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can I call you kitten?”

“...”

“Please?”

“...  _ fiiiiiiine…” _

“I love you, kitten.”

“I love you too, you stupid rat.”


End file.
